


And She Was Alone

by orphan_account



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Aftermath, Angst, Canon Compliant, Dreams, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, Sad Ending, Steven Bomb 6 Spoilers, im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 08:45:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10895814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "No, this was just a dream. This Steven was fake. A figment of her dreaming subconscious. Still, she decided to talk."Connie dreams of Steven.





	And She Was Alone

Connie knew she was dreaming the moment she opened her eyes. She was on a beach, watching the sun sink below the waves. The sky had quickly become a beautiful array of pinks and purples; It reminded her of the day they first fused. 

She trailed an index finger through the sand with a sigh.

“Beautiful night, isn’t it?” A voice from her right said. She jumped, but relaxed when she saw who it was. 

_He_ was sitting next to her, resting his chin on his knees. His eyes were fixed on the twilight sky. 

Already, this was turning out to be like so many dreams she had before. It had only been a week, and yet every time she slept, she dreamt of him. Sometimes, the dreams were calm and peaceful, like this one was turning out to be. Though, they were mostly nightmares.

Her never seeing him again, him getting tortured, him dying at the hands of the Diamonds. 

Him running for the escape pod, Homeworld Gems chasing him.. Her beckoning him closer. _Come on, come on,_ she would urge, _please!_

But he would never make it.

The big Gem — what was her name? Topaz? — would either knock him aside and take him back, or that little, _evil_ gremlin would freeze him with her wand and drag him back to his prison cell.

One night, she had dreamt that he said no. He said he had to do this, that it was the only way for them to be safe. He turned around and willingly walked away from the ship, away from salvation, away from her.

She cried the hardest that night. 

She looked to the Steven beside her. Not the real Steven, obviously. Not the Steven who was in space, who could be at Homeworld already, who already might be… 

No, this was just a dream. This Steven was fake. A figment of her dreaming subconscious. 

Still, she decided to talk.

“I… I’m upset,” She started. She had to stop herself from laughing at the vast understatement. Upset? That was only the beginning of what she felt.

Steven tore his gaze away from the sunset and towards her. In turn, she forced herself not to look at him. She just couldn’t, she knew that. 

Instead, she looked at the ground, still twirling that same finger in the coarse sand. “I can’t believe you did that… We could have figured something out together, we could have fused, or got the Gems to, I don’t know, do something! I thought we were supposed to be a team, Steven. Jam buds, remember?” She spoke softly, but her words were dripping with pain and silent outrage. She felt the now-incredibly-familiar burn of her eyes, but blinked before any tears could form. 

She didn’t want to start crying in her dreams; she had enough of that in real life.

“... How could you do this to us?” 

Didn’t he know how the Gems felt, how his dad felt, how she felt?

Of course he did, he was Steven. He was probably agonizing over it right now. 

“I was there when we told your dad what happened. It didn’t go over well… As if hearing that your only son was being taken to two space empresses to be tried for his mother’s past crimes could go over well. 

“He thinks he failed, Steven. Like, he was supposed to support you and protect you, and yet,” she waved her hand out towards the sky. Stars had begun to peek through the clouds, sparkling in the night. One in particular stood out, shining brighter than the rest. “you’re off to Homeworld as a martyr.”

She felt a bit of anger bubble up in her throat — “You think that you have this magical destiny to save everyone, that only you can do this, ” — but it faded quickly, leaving her silent and drained, both emotionally and physically.

It’s been a week since he turned around and walked back into that ship. One week of worry, anger, desperation, and no rest. 

God, she was tired.

Steven gave a grim laugh and lifted his head from his knees.

“Yeah, I… I dunno what I was thinking. How could _my_ death save everyone? I didn’t even get to save Lars. I mean, it’s because of me that he’s… wherever he is. In the Zoo, probably.”

Connie winced. She remembered the panic when they realized Lars wasn’t with them. Telling Mr. and Mrs. Barriga was one of the hardest things they had to do, aside from telling Steven’s own father. How do you explain to someone that their only child had been abducted by aliens and would never be seen again? 

Well, they managed to tell Mr. Universe.

“I just… thought that I could end it, the war. But, it didn’t work out that way, huh? Yellow Diamond said that after they…” He took a deep breath. “After they execute me, they’ll be sending more Gems to get the Cluster.

“I don’t know what they’re going to do when they find out we bubbled it.”

Connie forced herself to look at her best friend (her _only_ friend). He was back to looking at the sky, only now there were tears in his eyes and a slight tremor in his lips. 

“I know I should be worried about you guys a-and what’s going to happen when Homeworld comes back to Earth, but… I can’t stop thinking about myself. Isn’t that so selfish?”

He fought back a sob.

“I-I’m scared, Connie. I don’t want to do this. I just want to be home with the Gems, and Dad, and you. God, I really do. I want to be at the carwash with Dad and play music. 

“I want to stay up late playing video games and have my biggest worry be Pearl catching me. I want to stay up until midnight stargazing, and not think about who might be out there and what they might be planning.” 

His voice cracked, slowly becoming more and more distressed. “I-I want to be able to just hang out with you and wonder what’s going to happen on the next episode of Under the Knife, instead of thinking about all the horrible way the Diamonds could _kill_ me.

“They’re going to shatter me, or harvest me, or something, an-and I’m terrified. I’m so scared, Connie. I don’t want to die!” When Connie finally forced herself to look at Steven, he had completely broken down. His head was in his hands, but she could still see the stream of tears from his eyes, dripping onto the cool sand. His body trembled with the force of his sobs. 

Connie put a hand over her mouth. She didn’t bother blinking away the tears in her eyes. They fell down her cheeks slowly. “I-I’m so sorry, I was just— I had no idea that…” 

Wait. 

She didn’t have any idea about what was happening to Steven. She had no idea that the Diamonds didn't know about the Cluster, that they were sending more Gems.... So why did he? 

“S-Steven?” 

Steven’s head jerked up to look at her. She felt her heart break when she saw absolute despair in his eyes. It fractured into pieces entirely when she saw resignation.

There was no way this was just a dream. 

“Is that actually you, Steven? For real?” 

Despite everything that had happened, despite what was going to happen, Steven’s face lit up. He suddenly pulled her into a tight hug, and she returned it with as equal a force she could. Relief flooded her body. 

Of course, of course! He had told her about when he spoke to Lapis through his dreams, and how he dream walked with Kiki. Why didn’t she realize earlier?

“Oh God, I thought it wouldn’t work, I thought I was too far away. I’m so sorry, Connie. I’m so, so sorry,” he cried into her shoulder. 

“It’s okay, it’s going to be okay, Steven. We’re going to find you, and we’re going to get you out of there. Pearl and Peridot are working on a spaceship, something that can get us—” 

Steven froze completely, startling Connie enough for her to cut off her own sentence. He pulled back from the hug and glanced around the empty beach.

“Do you hear that?” He asked in a whisper. She listened for a moment, but only heard the steady noise of the ocean waves.

She shook her head. 

“No, listen, there it is again. It’s like — Oh.” He paled visibly, eyes widening in realization.

“What? What is it?” She asked, fear in her voice. 

“It’s Topaz. I-I can hear her footsteps. She’s coming for me.”

“What is she going to do? Are you okay?” She noticed a slight fade in Steven’s form, like he was suddenly less solid. Less real.

He swallowed. “It must be time for my sentence… I’m waking up.” He grabbed Connie’s shoulders, looking deep into her eyes. His body flickered for a moment, like static on an old television. “Connie, I need you to tell the Gems, tell Dad, tell everyone, I love them. I love them so much, and I’m so, so sorry for everything I put them through.” 

“No!” She shouted. “No, don’t talk like that! You’re going to be okay, tell me you’re going to be okay!”

“Connie, please! Just tell them!” He pleaded. The tremor in his voice was back, as were the tears. He flickered again, almost completely gone for a moment. 

“You can tell them yourself, when we rescue you!” She couldn’t lose him, she couldn’t.

“Connie, I love y—” 

One last flicker, and he was gone.

Connie woke up with a start. She was in her bedroom, blankets wrapped around her. The lights were off, the blinds were closed, and she was painfully, painfully alone. 

The only thing she could do was cry.

**Author's Note:**

> this bomb destroyed me, can you tell?


End file.
